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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24267634">When You Were Young</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunchLich/pseuds/LunchLich'>LunchLich</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Penumbra Podcast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Childhood Sweethearts, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Memories, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reflection, Romance, Tragic Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:34:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,157</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24267634</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunchLich/pseuds/LunchLich</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A lot of things remind Mick Mercury of Ben, and the time they had together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mick Mercury/Benzaiten Steel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>warnings in the tags!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I might have lost my leg if J wasn't such a good shot, and if Sasha didn't have all those fancy dark matters devices! I'm real lucky to have them." </p><p>Mick recalled his most recent daring adventure. A real one, this time. If only a little embellished. He didn't have too many true stories to tell, especially not these days. They blurred together, for the most part, mundane and repetitive. He could always come up with an entertaining story to tell regardless. </p><p>He cracked open his beer and set a second one on the grave marker in from of him. All of the grass and leaves that had been piling on top of it had been cleared, the dirt brushed off. </p><p>Ben always listened to his stories, no matter what.</p><p>---</p><p>"I don't think they're coming, Mick." Sasha deadpanned. She sat on the curb with her chin resting on her knees, her eyes following Mick as he paced back and forth in the deserted street. </p><p>Mick shook his head with a furrowed brow. "No way, they'll show up. Everyone always does! I told them I had a good story this week! I rode all the way out to Olympus Mons, and I-"</p><p>"No, you didn't." Juno sighed. "You cut class to go to the arcade, not to go on some trip to Olympus Mons and... I don't know, stop a robbery, or whatever the hell you were gonna say. No one's coming because your stories are all bullshit. You're a liar-"</p><p>He was promptly cut off by Ben jabbing him in the ribs with his elbow. The twins sat side by side on the sidewalk, Juno with his legs crossed. Benzaiten with his stretched out onto the patch of sod between the sidewalk and the curb. He'd kicked his shoes off at some point to get as comfortable as he could to hear Mick's story. "We'll still listen. I love hearing your stories!"</p><p>Ben looked up at him with big, bright eyes and smiled at him with an even brighter smile. Mick felt invincible being looked at like that. He wanted to give Ben the story he was asking for but his brain wasn't giving him a prompt to work with. All his mind was providing him was the sight before him. Ben believing in him, thinking his stories were cool, in his baggy clothes and glasses he hadn't grown into yet. Looking radiant in the afternoon light.</p><p>He snapped himself out of it and rubbed at his eyes before letting his gaze fall to the cracked asphalt at his feet, his arms resting at sides. "I just..." Mick sighed. "I just wanted everyone to think I was cool. Especially you guys." He admitted. </p><p>Silence hung heavy over the group for a few minutes. Only the sound of distant cars from neighboring streets and their breathing. Until shoes shuffled against pavement and Sasha's arms wrapped around him. Pretty soon Ben's joined, then Juno's, reluctantly. Until they stood in the middle of the street as a stiff bundle of pre-teen awkwardness. Sasha and Juno weren't really the hugging type. That made it more meaningful.</p><p>"We still think you're cool, Mick," Juno finally spoke, words sheepish and quiet.</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"Absolutely." Sasha chimed in.</p><p>"Even if your stories are fake, they're still really creative and fun to listen to. You should like... write a book, or something." Benzaiten's face felt warm too pressed against his shoulder, like he had a fever. But if he had a fever, Juno would too because they're twins, right? Juno wasn't warm at all, though. </p><p>Mick brushed it off.</p><p>"Really? It could be really fun to write a book. Geez, what would I even write about? I've told so many stories, and I bet if I wrote a book I could get even crazier with them! You think I could get it published? Oh! They could even make a stream out of it! Who'd I want to play me, though..."</p><p>Juno hissed when Sasha stomped on his foot to keep him from making an inevitable, sarcastic remark. "Hey!"</p><p>---</p><p>Mick stood and gathered his things. His empty beer can and the one he'd brought for Ben went back into his drawstring backpack. He folded his picnic blanket up tight and stuck it in alongside them. The only thing that stayed were the cheap, plastic roses he'd brought along. </p><p>He only took a few steps towards the gate of the cemetery when an indent in the grass stopped him in his tracks. </p><p>The grave next to Ben's hadn't been visited in years. Mick wasn't sure if it'd ever been cleaned off. The stone was completely covered by grass and overgrown weeds. You wouldn't know it was there if you hadn't seen it before. Mick let his bag fall to the ground and knelt in front of it, digging his fingers into the brush to pull it away.</p><p>He tugged at the roots of the grass until the name 'Sarah Steel' was showing as clear as day, engraved on the stone marker. "There you go! Good as new."</p><p>Mick Mercury never liked Sarah. He didn't dislike a lot of people, and he never disliked her, either. Until he got the call from Juno. He knew she was mean. He knew she caused the twins a lot of pain, but... Ben always insisted she was good. He always defended her when he came to school late because he had to break up a screaming match between her and Juno. He always shrugged it off when she broke his things. Always made excuses that Mick believed when there were bruises on his arms. </p><p>So Mick never pushed it too hard or stepped in when he should have. </p><p>Benzaiten would have wanted her grave to be as clean as his, though. Despite everything. He was a good soul. Mick forgot all of the pain she caused, just for a few minutes. Just long enough to spruce it up before he made his trek back home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>dedicated to the tpp cosplayer/muppet crime family server because they have given me benmick brainworms, and this fic is going to be 80% based off of conversations we've had about them tbh</p><p>posting at 2:30 AM and barely proofreading? yes. we die like men</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hey, little guy!" Mick crouched down and unlatched the door to the kennel. The small dog inside scrambled out and jumped up against Mick's legs, trying to lick at his face or nibble at his hand. Whichever it could manage first.</p><p>Sure, maybe volunteering at the animal shelter wasn't exactly a career. It didn't pay his rent, but it made him happier than any job he'd tried to hold before. He came in a couple of days a week to play with dogs, what could be better than that? It kept him busy and productive.</p><p>"Say, how about a treat? You look like you could use a snack," He dug around in his jacket pocket and fished out half of a dog biscuit he'd stashed away when he checked in for his shift. He held the treat above the dog's nose and it sat obediently, looking up at him. "Look at you! Real smart, huh? Here you go," He dropped the treat and the dog opened its mouth to catch it.</p><p>"A scraggly little thing, isn't she?" Another volunteer had popped her head into the room. "A couple of rowdy teens brought her in yesterday. A stray that was sleeping under their porch."</p><p>---</p><p>"C'mere boy! C'mon!" Benzaiten laid on his stomach, his arms stretched out underneath a dumpster to try and coax a dog out of it's hiding place. Mick knelt beside him in case he needed any help. "Aw man, he's looking at me, but he's not budging. You got any food on you?"</p><p>Mick rifled around in the pockets of his jeans. Lint, half of a bouncy ball he'd found (how did it get cut in half? what kinda monster would do that?), an arcade ticket, and... "I have a stick of gum?"</p><p>"Here, hand it over?" Ben pulled one of his hands out from under the dumpster and held it out behind him without looking. He took the gum and unwrapped it when Mick placed it in his hand, then popped it in his mouth. "Dogs can't have gum, but I can. Thanks, I forgot to brush my teeth this morning." He peeked over his shoulder to give Mick a devilish grin.</p><p>"Heyyy... That was my last piece!" Mick grinned back anyway, despite his protests. He'd happily exchange a measly piece of gum to see Ben smile.</p><p>"I'll get you another one, promise. Got anything else? That a dog would eat?"</p><p>"That's all I got, Benny. Well, I do have some lint. Do you think he'd eat that?"</p><p>"Probably not." He laughed. "Damn, now what? It looks like he's got blood all matted on his paw, I wanna make sure he's alright..."</p><p>Mick thought for a moment, scratching at his chin as he schemed. They could look inside the dumpster for something to lure the dog out with. This part of town, though, he wasn't sure he wanted to know what was in there. He could crawl under the dumpster and grab it? ...Nah, the dog was small enough to fit, but he sure wasn't. </p><p>They could find another dog and give it a friend? Maybe it would come out to socialize. But where would they get another dog?</p><p>"Got it! Scoot over." Mick laid on his stomach next to Ben. He could see the canine cowering, it's head lowered and its eyes as sad as a dogs could get. It was just a puppy. "Ruff! Ruff! Bark!"</p><p>"Uhhh... Mick," Ben chuckled. He watched him with one brow quirked up and his lips tugged into a smirk. "Wanna share the plan with me?"</p><p>"Oh, well, when I had Wilco, sometimes he'd get scared by real loud noises and go hide, right? So I'd bark at him like his mom probably would have to tell him not to be scared. if he had a mom, and it always calmed him down as soon as I started doing it! It's like a secret dog code."</p><p>"Bartholomew Mercury, you genius." Benten beamed at him and Mick felt overtaken by pride. Ben thought he was smart. Really smart, if he called him a genius. That meant a lot. Especially coming from him. "Woof! Arf!"</p><p>The two laid there on the pavement barking at the scared dog for a few minutes. it eventually backed away from them and out from beneath the dumpster. "We did it!" Mick hopped up and went to the other side of the dumpster. He picked the puppy up, cradling the tiny thing gently in his arms. "See, little dude? We don't wanna hurt you."</p><p>"Lemme take a look at his paw," Ben's eyebrows knit together as he carefully examined the puppy's bloodied paw. He concentrated hard, tongue poking out past his lips as he focused. He was so gentle. Holding it's paw and turning it over to assess the damage. The puppy didn't whine or flinch. Ben was gentle in everything he did, no matter how many times he was labeled as a trouble-maker. Maybe he was. They all were. And somehow, Ben was always gentle in the trouble they caused, too. He never started fights no matter how many people picked on him.</p><p>Given, he usually didn't have time to before Juno was doing it for him.</p><p>"There's a shard of something stuck in his paw. Poor guy... I'd be scared too if I stepped in glass. Here.." He leaned in close and squinted. He pulled the piece of glass out slowly, carefully. "Sorry." He whispered when the puppy let out a little whimper.</p><p>"You should be a vet or somethin', you made that look so easy!"</p><p>Ben shrugged. "It's just like pulling out a splinter. I don't think being a veterinarian would be my thing, anyway. You're the one who's good with animals. You got him out, after all."</p><p>Mick grinned from ear to ear. He was proud of himself. He felt like a hero, rescuing a scared puppy from an unknown fate. "Maybe I'll become a vet! Who knows. ....Um- what do we do with this little guy now?" </p><p>"I guess we figure out who he belongs to? He's got a collar, someone's gotta be missing him. The sooner he gets home the sooner the little fella can get his paw bandaged up."</p><p>They set off in search of the dog's owner. He couldn't have gone very far from his house, right? He'd been sitting outside a deli when the two teens had walked by and spooked him with their admittedly loud laughter. They checked inside the shop first.</p><p>That didn't last long. The owner immediately kicked them out and yelled at them for bringing an animal inside.</p><p>So, they picked a street and set off together, the puppy curled up and dozing off in Mick's arms. It was real cute. The little guy had dirty golden fur, super soft and fluffy. Its tail wagged even as it started to fall asleep. "I think we should name him. So we have somethin' to call him until we find where he lives. What about, um... spot?"</p><p>"He doesn't have any spots though."</p><p>"Man, you're right. It just doesn't fit him." Mick stared down at the puppy in his arms. He thought of plenty of names, but none of them seemed to fit. "What do you think?"</p><p>"How about..." Benten drew out the word, tilting his head as he looked at the animal and tried to think of a good name for it. He suddenly lit up, eyes widening and smile spreading across his face. "Pancake! 'Cause of the color of his fur. What do you think about that?"</p><p>"Pancake!" He parrotted. "I like that a lot!"</p><p>"Pancake it is, then." He nodded. They took a turn onto a new street, and Ben stopped. "...This could take a while." The street was lined with run-down houses, with their front yards filled with weeds. Flowers and bushes that had been poorly cared for littered the lawns. Some had picket fences with chipping paint, or dirty bikes laid down in the yards where kids had abandoned them. There were a lot of places to check.</p><p>"You think Sasha and JJ would help us? Then we could split up!"</p><p>"Sasha's helping at the food stand today and Juno's in weekend detention right now."</p><p>"Wait- what'd J do this time?"</p><p>"Someone offered him a cigarette and his weak lungs got him caught right outside the school. His coughing fit drew too much attention." Ben's head tilted back as he laughed. There was an extra spring in his step as he told the story. "He's really good at planning trouble, even accidentally. But I'm better at getting into it. And getting out of it without getting caught."</p><p>Mick laughed along with him. Ben was right, he was good at getting into trouble and sneaking his way out of it. Both in the sense of being a charismatic smooth talker, and being light on his feet. Mick figured those skills came from being a dancer.</p><p>They went from house to house, knocking on doors and asking those who answered if this was their dog, or if they knew who he belonged to. The best they got were shaken heads or non-committal grunts. The worst was some old man yelling at them to get off his property. It wasn't until their third street where a little girl answered did they find what they were looking for.</p><p>"My puppy!" The girl flung herself out the door before she'd opened it all the way. The dog in Mick's arms perked up, now wide awake, and wiggled out of his grip to jump into the arms of the little frizzy-haired girl. "Titan, you're back!"</p><p>"He got an owie on his paw while he was gone, so if your parents are home let them know he needs a bandage, okay?" Ben had crouched down to be at eye level with the young girl, who nodded all starry-eyed like she'd just been given a million creds. </p><p>"Dad! Papa! Titan's back and he needs his owie fixed up!"</p><p>The girl ran back into her house and the two boys went on their way, kicking rocks as they went. It was starting to get dark, the streetlights beginning to turn on as they walked. The lights didn't do much, half of them broken and the other half flickered whenever a car drove by or they walked past.</p><p>"Y'know... I'm glad Pancake's got a home and all, but I was kinda hoping I'd get to keep him. He was so tiny... I loved the little guy so much already." Mick sighed.</p><p>"He was pretty cute, huh? But think of how happy that kid was to have him back. If we hadn't gotten him back to her, she never woulda known what happened to him. At least you know he's happy, right?" Ben looked up at him. "Like the cat I hid under my bed for a week. I had to take her into the shelter 'cause the landlord was getting suspicious and I didn't want Ma to get in trouble. I bet the cat was happier anyway. I miss her but living under my bed probably sucked for her.</p><p>"Yeah... I guess you're right. I wouldn't have been able to take very good care of Pancake. I don't think my dad would be ready for another dog either. We're still getting over... Wilco."</p><p>"Sometimes you gotta let things you love go, even if you don't wanna. Speaking of cute things you have to let go- This is the halfway point. I gotta get home. See you at school?"</p><p>"Maybe!"</p><p>"We have a test, please don't skip again, man. And if you don't come for the test, come for me? I'll get so booooorrreeeed in English if you don't show up." He bumped his shoulder against the taller boys with a giggle that made heat rise to Mick's cheeks.</p><p>"I'll try my best! But, um... I might need some help with that test."</p><p>"You show up, I'll help you. Deal?" Ben stuck his hand out.</p><p>"Deal!" He shook his hand and maybe lingered there a little too long. If he did, Ben sure didn't complain about it.</p><p>"Great. I'll see you then, Micky." He waved set out walking down the street and Mick went the opposite way. He stopped halfway and turned to watch him go, his hands in his pockets and his head swaying from side to side as he hummed a tune to himself until he turned the corner and disappeared from his view.</p><p>---</p><p>"She seems like a real sweetheart! Have they given her a name yet?"</p><p>The volunteer grabbed the clipboard from beside the door and flipped through the papers to find the strays documents. "Doesn't look like it. You got any ideas?"</p><p>Mick thought for a moment, petting over the dog's soft, dirty-gold fur. There were a few clumps of fur hardened by mud on her sides. Maybe he'd bath her today. "How about Pancake?"</p>
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